Day 100

Yesterday I had to leave my guitar class 1 1/2 hours early to drive home and meet my sister. She drove me to my Doctors appointment in Los Angeles and dropped me off. My mom was there waiting so that she could be in on the appointment with Dr. Lill and Seda. They officially informed us that I am indeed cancer free! We got the proof on paper by the scan results! And all of my blood tests were great! Then the worst and last part came. The doctor removed my portacath in my thigh that was used since September 10th when they put it in for chemo and the stem cell transplant. The shots to numb my thigh were of course painful and burned like crazy. Then it was ok until the doctor hit a spot that wasn't numb and I let out an "OU" or "OW" or however you spell that and my eyes began to fill with tears and one rolled down out of each eye. It was so painful. He numbed it several more times and finally I didn't feel a thing. It was extremely uncomfortable, though, because of all the pressure I was felling of the doctor fishing around in my thigh muscle to try and get the portacath out. Sorry if you're cringing right now. I had a very tight grip around my arms the entire time. Breath in....breath out.....breath in......breath out. The nurse was very caring. She dabbed my tears with a tissue and gently rested her hand on my arm. It was very comforting. Then, he stitched it up from the inside, patched and I was done. It is a little sore when I move in certain positions but other than that it's alright. I went to my guitar class this morning and started learning the song I brought in from a mixed CD. It was so fun because he was teaching it to the class and I got to sing! I really pray that I can learn it and be able to perform it in front of the class for my final, which is on July 21st, I believe. While listening to another song in class my eyes filled with tears because I was overwhelmed with joy that I was alive and doing something that I really love. I pictured myself a few months into the future playing the guitar really well and singing along to songs I learn or songs that I write myself. I almost had to leave the class to cry my eyes out in the bathroom but I held it together so I could get back to practicing to ensure that what I saw in my future really happens. If you want to see any pictures from yesterdays hospital trip you can check them out on the other website: shelsisentinel.stlawson.com. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this and for all of your love, support, and prayers. Hope you all have a wonderful and safe 4th of July!!